Funny Personal Injury Stories

[SVT1]

We all know we have them. Whether you just "bonked" (lol) yourself off the head with a 2x4 ( sorry man, that word "bonked" makes me laugh everytime I read it), or fell down a flight of stairs, lets here it.

Just a disclaimer, if you ended up permantly maimed, limbless, or otherwise handicapped in anyway, then its not funny and that's not the purpose of the thread. Just simple, funny stories, where you felt like an idiot and ran around in circles for five minutes licking your wounds and making up new foul words.

I'll start, and I have many, many more: Was walking out of a customer's basement through their bulkhead when I thought I was clear of the sill plate of the house, so I stood straight up and cranked ( bonked to the lay person) my dome so hard I fell to my knees and just layed there curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth while my co-worker laughed and ranked on me for being so dumb.

Then there was the time when my dad wrapped a rope around his waist, proceeded to tie it off to a broken fence post, and then hopped on his yard tractor to pull it out. You guessed it, once he let the clutch out it basically spilled his beans all over the seat. Why he didn't tie it to the chassis of the tractor we'll never know.

There you go. There's two right there.

Anyone else?

[85GT-79FJ40]

Last summer I almost knocked myself out cold tightening the power steering belt on my FJ40. I was installing the motor after the rebuild, and had the entire sheet metal nose off the truck. I have a homemade bracket mounting the chevy power steering pump to the Toyota engine. The only way to tighten the belt is to pry outwards on the pump housing with a bar, then tighten a nut on the bracket. Well I had been working on it all day trying to get it running and was tired so I was sitting on the front tire using a round jack handle (only thing within reach at the time) as a pry bar. Dumb move number one. It slipped once and I lost my balance and nearly fell off the tire. So I got what I thought was a good grip on it and put some weight into it. As soon as I reached with my right hand to tighten the nut it slipped again. But this time I absolutely wailed myself in the forehead with the jack handle, my glasses went flying, and I fell off the tire and onto my back on the garage floor. I was literally seeing stars and may have actually passed out for a few seconds. About 5 minutes later my wife came into the garage and asked what in the world I had done to myself. My eye hurt, but I hadn't even noticed that I was bleeding pretty badly over my right eye, and there was blood all down that side of my face.

[jvaughan]

i was skiboarding a few years ago and decided to try some jumps. i had gotten warmed up for the day and was feeling pretty good about myself. i worked my way up from the smaller jumps to the medium size ones. then i decided it was time to try a big one. a 35 footer to be exact. well im flying down the hill about about 45-50mph hit the ramp make it to the top, hit a lip, and my one skiboard came unclipped. (uh oh) at this point im flying in the air face first thinking about how bad it was going to hurt. i landed, worked my ankle pretty good, and got some bruises but somehow didnt hit my head. i doubt my friend watching me had ever laughed so hard in his life. needless to say i was done with the jumps for the day

[mmb617]

When we were building our garage it was just the wife and I rolling up the roof trusses. We had a system where I'd help her use a 2x4 on the peak to push them up till they were almost straight, so there wasn't much weight on the 2x4 anymore, then I'd go up a ladder and pull them the rest of the way up and nail on some braces.

This worked pretty good for a while till I started up the ladder just as the 2x4 slipped and conked me on the noggin, and almost knocked me off the ladder.

I went and got my motorcycle helmet and wore that for the rest of the install.

The wife went and told everybody that if I give her any crap she just smacks me upside the head with a 2x4.

[SVT1]

HaHa!

That's pretty funny right there!^^^^

That must have looked hilarious, you up on the ladder nailing away, while wearing a motorcycle helmet!

Two friends of mine were doing some roofing at one of their houses. To put in in perspective here, they are both in the military, one is now retired. The retired one was yelling at his nephew to nail faster, as he had a pneumatic nail gun. The nephew was uncomfortable with the nail gun. After getting yelled at by him for about 20 minutes to nail faster, the uncle told him for the final time, that if he was using the nail gun, it had better be nailing something and not sitting there idle doing nothing. Well, he followed his uncle's instructions and kept those nails flying.

What happened next is unclear, but my buddy ended up nailing his uncle in the knee, right next to the side of the cap. Luckily it didn't hit anything important. So the uncle yells to his wife to call 911, he was shot he said. So she calls 911 and tells the dispatcher that her husband was shot. They send the Fire Department to get him off the roof ( couldn't bend the leg with the nail sticking out), and multiple cruisers show up, thinking he was shot with a firearm. For the rest of the day, all the local yocals who heard the whole thing on their police scanners kept stopping by to see what happened. They all thought he was shot with a real gun.

Actually, come to think of it? The uncle was the guy who was laughing at me when I cranked my head on that dang sill plate, probably 10 years before this happened. Hmmm...

[TNT]

When I was ten I was riding my mom's ten speed one weekend. I can't remember why I had her bike instead of my own. But knowing me, my bike was probably stripped to the bare frame and hanging from a tree in the yard drying from another paintjob. So i was riding this 10 speed that was a little too big for me and for some reason I noticed the acrons and other debris in the street were almost set up like a slalom. So of course I started trying to weave in and out of them just to see if I could. I turned one corner way too sharply and the front tire of teh bike went perpendicular to the direction I was travelling. The front wheel stopped and the whole rear went over. I ended up going over the handlebars and hit the street face first. My nose and upper lip hit first, the the rest of me crumpled. Somehow my only injuries were a broken nose and a scraped upper lip.
A few days later i had to have surgery to fix my nose. I remember waking up in the middle of the night after the surgery and not being able to sleep, I'd been sleeping all day due to the general anesthesia. I turned on the TV to see Michael Jackson being taken into the hospital because his hair had caught fire shooting that Pepsi commercial. All I can remember was thinking "hell, now he's going to be here and this place is going to be a zoo in the morning." It didn't occur to me at 10 that there might be more than one hospital in Southern California and that he'd be taken somewhere closer to LA than Riverside.

[shovelhead 93]

I was using one of those workout spring bars you know the ones about 3 feet long and made of steel that build muscle!! I was about 13 or 14 well it slipped out of my hand and hit me behind my ear, dropped me onto the bed I didn't go out but I was dazed LOL I guess thats why they have those wrist straps on the ends.

[SVT1]

Haha! That's pretty good.

[varn82]

A few months ago, I was at work, replacing rear axle beam bushings in a Jetta. I have done a ton of them and they always go according to plan. Plan being, not getting knocked down. For some reason, this time when I was removing the bushing bolt on the right side, (I lower one side at a time, replace and reinstall, so there is always one side bolted in) I forgot to put a stand under the axle beam. Me standing right under neath the beam. I take the bolt out, and BAM! The axle beam drops right on the center of my head. Wow. Headache for a few days. Needless to say, I have not always used a jack stand since.

[eeprete]

Originally Posted by varn82

.....Needless to say, I have not always used a jack stand since......

I think you meant to say "I have now always used a jack stand since.

[varn82]

Originally Posted by eeprete

I think you meant to say "I have now always used a jack stand since.

LOL. Good catch man.

[bluesfannoz]

I have too many to mention!

The funniest probably is a buy product of my inability to get ice cubes out of the Fridge without dropping one. I believe its genetic as my Father and Brother have the same problem... Well one day I drop the regular ice cube... and the lights are off so when I close the fridge door it is completely black.. I step forward to lean over to get the ice cube off the floor.... and Zoooooooooom BHAMMM!! My foot hit that cube and slid out from under me making me whamm my head on the Fridge and down to the floor I went... After a few stars, some advil, and a bit of my pride later I was okay.

[SVT Rob]

hahaha ... Oh man, these stories have me in stitches.

I have quite a few myself. Shortly after boot camp, I was at 29 Palms for my MOS training class. I had been there a couple weeks, and me and a couple of friends decided to go to the club and get hammered. We were walking along three abreast coming around the backside of the club. Well, they had a roof access ladder on the side of the building. Instead of slowing down and walking behind my friends, I duck my head and step over lower retaining leg, meaning to pass behind the ladder. What actually happened, is that when I ducked my head, I slammed it into the retaining leg that was about nose high, and knocked my ass smooth out. I remember ducking my head, and the next thing I remember is sitting up on the ground a good 3 feet behind the ladder, and my friends were walking around the corner of the building 150 feet away. The stars were very bright at that point. (Yes, I got hammered with no alcohol here, folks)

When I managed to make it into the club 5 or 6 minutes later, my friends all asked me, "Dude, where did you go?" All I could say was, "You guys seriously didn't see me knock myself out back there?" On a positive note, the liquor made the headache go away.

[jvaughan]

okay i have one more i have to share. about two weeks ago i was at my grandpas helping him work on a camaro. i go outside to leave at around 10:30pm. he lives kind of in the woods and has no outdoor lights. it was also pretty cold out so i was in a rush. i run to my car. fumble around to find the door handle. so as im slightly tilted over i pull the door open fast because i wanted to get in and out of the wind. turns out i was a little too close to the door and i hit myself square in the forehead with the upper corner of the door. after sitting down and feeling dumb a minute i was alright. but it frickin hurt!

[SVT1]

Originally Posted by varn82

LOL. Good catch man.

I don't know. I think he meant it. Taking a hit like that really messes up your marbles!!

Good one Chris! Glad that you're 'okay' though!

[SVT1]

Oh, man, this is too funny. Yeah, I've whacked my head enough times I should probably be dead.

I stood up once one time thinking that the pipes on the rack above me were actually about another foot or so higher. They weren't! And they were cast iron. I slammed my head so dang hard, I really considered going home for the day! I actually shed tears! TEARS! Wasn't crying, but I had uncontrollable tears!

[Dean_T]

A while back I had a post titled "Today, I caught on fire" but I think it's too old and got deleted. That's okay, it was rather embarassing...

Dean T

[83capril]

Ok, I'll contribute. I was repacking the front wheel bearings on the capri. So instead of buying new I reused the old ones. Cleaned them good with a parts washer, then brake clean. Well to dry them I placed them over my fingers and used compresed air to blow them out. Well on the last one I realized if u aim the air just right they meak a cool sound. It had enough centrifical force to cause the outer race to come off and spin on my finger and shoot off. I felt the bearings hit my chest. Then I notice th blood, well I wound up with 6 stiches in my index, and 9 in my middle finger right at the knucles. The ER nurses were surprised I drove myself. Lol then I started to take pics with my phone and send them to everyone while I was waiting for the doctor. It was a good laugh for a few weeks with my friends and family. I have tons of stories. Sometimes we are our own health hazard. Lol

[Marz]

lol... there was that one time I had my hand in a door I was going to throw out. I was removing the parts I wanted and decided to use my hand to try and force this one part free. Well... I ended up cutting up my hand fairly well.

Last time I ever do that!

[dy85merc]

One time a buddy and I were nailing sheets of plywood on a garage roof, we were just working and talking...everything was normal. Then, just in the middle of a conversation my buddy replied...but I could barely hear him. I turned around and he wasn't there, I looked down...and there he was...standing like nothing ever happened. It was a miracle, he fell between the trusses and landed upright on his feet...un-injured. After I'd seen he was OK, we busted laughing...crazy.

[SVT1]

I love it when we always say 'won't ever do that again' then about a month later we do the same thing!

[BBR]

I once hack sawed the back of my hand.....

then did it again in the same place 10 minutes later. Still have the scar.

[Marz]

Originally Posted by SVT1

I love it when we always say 'won't ever do that again' then about a month later we do the same thing!

Oh no. I've not done it in a couple years.

[Hissing Cobra]

Years ago, I used to be a house painter. We painted older homes but the majority of our work consisted of brand new houses. On the older homes, you have to be careful of bees nests behind the shutters and rake boards but on the newer homes, you really don't have to worry - or so I thought.

So, I get to work, pull all 6 ladders off the roof of the truck and start the day. Usually I would line the ladders up in a row against the side of the house, dig them into the dirt, and maneuver myself from ladder to ladder (stupid but much faster and if I set the ladders up, I never had a problem). Anyway, I started at the bottom, bringing the corner board up to the triangle of the rake board. Then, I climbed up the ladder and began to bring the rake board up to the peak. From ladder to ladder I went, until I climbed onto the one that led to the peak. Once there, I hung my paint pot onto the side of the ladder, looked up, and BAM! A Yellow Jacket came out and stung me on the end of the nose! Dazed and shocked, I then saw the whole nest of them coming out. Holy s*** did it hurt! I almost fell off the ladder (28 feet up) but somehow I managed to climb down without getting stung again. I was then on the ground ranting and raving, and holding my nose, while my co-workers laughed like they had just won the lottery.

Needless to say, I had to get back up there but this time I was going up with Wasp & Hornet killer bee spray. I wiped out the whole nest and was able to get back up there 20 minutes later to continue with my day.

I looked like Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer for an entire week.

[mustang4life]

I was spraying for wasps underneath the eaves of my shed a few years back, and even though was a good 25 feet from the shed, one came out and before I could even flinch, it stung me on the bridge of the nose. So, already pissed off, and KNOWING I was in a foul mood, my fiance asks me to weedwhack around our barn, and near this barn is a hitching post. Thankfully I had on a pair of safety goggles, cause after about 5 minutes of trimming, a wasp came up from under the hitching post and stung me right below my left eye. I caught that little bastard and squished him.