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  1. #1
    FEP Power Member Hemlock's Avatar
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    Unhappy All I have left now is his cars and my memories

    My Dad had been suffering from Dementia for the last couple of years which over the last 6 months had basically accelerated and made him a shell of the man he was. It was an extremely excruciating process to watch him slowly wither away mentally and physically. He died a few weeks ago after being moved to a nursing home about a month and a half ago. Unfortunately, my mom was not able to care for him anymore because he started getting up in the middle of the night when she was sleeping and he was having really bad falls when he was up. The last fall broke the orbit of his eye socket and he needed 40 stitches. He is a big guy like me, and she is a small gal and she could not manage him anymore on her own. For the most part when a Dementia or Alsheimer's patient ends up in a nursing home/assisted living environment, it is pretty much a downward spiral from there not having the familiar surroundings anymore. During his stay at the assisted living home, he had aspirated some food and it turned into inhalation pneumonia. Which in his weakened state eventually killed him.

    He was one of my best friends and taught me almost everything I know, and I am going to miss him terribly.

    Just looking at his old cars that I got from him absolutely crushes me right now and I hope this is something that changes down the road.

    Robert

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    1984 RS 347 Capri, To many car parts to list, check out my car build page here for the story on my car and a full parts list/setup!:

    My RS in Action

  2. #2
    FEP Super Member xctasy's Avatar
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    My thoughts are with you, your Mother and family. I stand with you and I'm sorry.

    11 years as a career in aged care.

  3. #3
    FEP Super Member Bryan Knebworth's Avatar
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    Oh so sorry, Robert. I remember talking to you about him. Also, I remember how he purchased your Capri, new, way back in the '80s. Now you have some GOOD memories

  4. #4
    Moderator wraithracing's Avatar
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    Robert, So sorry for your loss! We will keep you, your father, and your family in our thoughts and prayers. I lost my Dad during the height of Covid and was unable to see or visit him for the last year of his life thanks to all the restrictions. I still miss him daily and think about him all the time. I promise it does get easier as time passes, but when you lose someone that important and such a vital part of your life you never fully get over it. I have my Dad's 64 F100 that I want to rebuild/restomod in memory of him, but I am still not there just yet mentally and emotionally, but I am getting closer every day and eventually it will get done. So don't do anything rash or during a moment of sorrow with your Dad's vehicles. You will almost assuredly regret it in the end. God Bless you and your family.
    Last edited by wraithracing; 04-06-2023 at 07:51 AM.
    ​Trey

    "I Don't build it hoping for your approval! I built it because it meets mine!"

    "I've spent most of my money on Mustangs, racing, and women... the rest I just wasted."

    Mustangs Past: Too many to remember!
    Current Mustangs:
    1969 Mach 1
    1979 Pace Car now 5.0/5 speed
    1982 GT Stalled RestoModification
    1984 SVO Still Waiting Restoration
    1986 GT Under going Wide Body Conversion Currently

    Current Capris:
    1981 Capri Roller
    1981 Capri Black Magic Roller Basket Case
    1982 Capri RS 5.0/4spd T-top Full Restoration Stalled in TX
    1984 Capri RS T-top Roller
    1983-84 Gloy Racing Trans Am/IMSA Body Parts

  5. #5

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    Robert, you're in my thoughts as well. Be strong, your Dad is watching.

    Your story was touching.... truthfully, it made me tear up, as I've been down the parent-with-dementia road, and it's a very tough one. So hard to "lose" someone, even though they're still around. Sounds like your Dad was a great father. Keep those memories, and his gifts to you.... they become even more priceless as time goes by. And the pain, it will ease (some) with time.
    1985 Mustang GT (Mothballed...Desired restomod parts acquired...Top of my project list for my 2024 retirement!)

  6. #6
    FEP Power Member gmatt's Avatar
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    So sorry for your loss. It's been 6 years since my Dad passed, almost 2 since my Mom. I think about them both daily. Grief is a long road and memories, sometimes objects can cause overwhelming waves. I'm feeling it just reading this. It lessens with time and eventually these things will make you smile instead of cry.

  7. #7

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    Dang, dude. So sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family.
    79 Zephyr, 4.6L 4v/4r70w swap, with team z front and rear suspension, 8.8 and upgraded brakes and coil overs. Running Holley Terminator X Max.

  8. #8
    FEP Senior Member fascat's Avatar
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    So sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. We are all here for you. I felt the same way when my Mom passed 7 years ago. A lot of leaning on friends and family helps. I had many conversations with a member here that really helped. Never met in person but the offer was there if needed. Can't thank that member enough.

  9. #9
    FEP Senior Member OX1's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear. If you can, hold on to one or both of them. Eventually, it'll bring back great
    memories just cruising around in the Dad's car (it does for me).
    86 Capri, 5.0, 5Spd, A9L QH/BE, 47 lb Inj PMAS 3" MAF, Single T44 Turbo, Front Mount IC, TW170,
    Stock Cam, Explr Intake/TB, 1.7 Rockers, CF dual friction clutch, 3" DP, 2.5" full Exh, 3.27, 11.932 @ 115.78
    84 LTD, 331-10:1, TW170/Exprl Intake, 47 lbs inj/80 mm LMAF, Full Duals, Quarterhorse, Vortech 7PSI, Lentech AOD, 5 lug Mk VII brakes/rear, Eibach Sway bars, Cobra HB (dads ride, but I fix it )

  10. #10
    FEP Power Member Ray Dog's Avatar
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    Robert, I lost my first wife 29 years ago around the Easter holiday,
    I feel your pain. I still have the 86 Mustang that was a 10th anniversary present to her.
    I have found memories of her enjoying driving it, and Florida trips to visit my parents.
    Many prayers are heading your way to you and your family.
    Ray
    Ray
    86 Mustang LX 3.8 Convertible (bought new}
    65 Galaxie 500 XL 390 auto
    2A

  11. #11
    FEP Member 86MustangGtRob's Avatar
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    Robert, I am so sorry for your loss. My mother had dementia, it is a horrible disease.

  12. #12
    FEP Super Member Blainer's Avatar
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    We are here for you. My Dad has been suffering for a while now with Parkinson's. It's so hard watching him get weaker and his skills in what he does in everyday life diminish. Try to think of the great years and times of fun and just having a Dad. Thank you for sharing. It's important. Just remember he's not really gone as even one tiny memory or thought keeps him with you.

    Sent from my motorola one 5G ace using Tapatalk
    -Currently Searching for "The One"

  13. #13
    FEP Super Member webestang's Avatar
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    Prayers and thoughts to you and yours.
    I lost my Pop to Parkinson's in 2020, he was 85. I still have 2 of his cars he owned before me, my 88 Mustang vert and 99 coupe Mustang (he bought new).

    Scotty
    1985 Fox Notch 4-banger Ranger tube header Eastwood Royal Blue
    1988 Fox LX 5.0 AOD Vert BBK 170mph speedo Candy Apple Red
    1999 Mustang Coupe V6 Auto Chrome Yellow -Daily Driver.
    Past Pony's.....
    68 Coupe Inline-6 3-Speed-Man. Primer
    78 II Hatch 302 3-Speed-Auto Sunroof Black
    81 4-Eye Coupe 4-Banger 4-Speed-Man. White

  14. #14
    FEP Senior Member Sask84gt's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss and condolences to you and your family. Dementia is a horrible disease. My Father in law is in the later stages of it and it’s crushing.
    Mustangs
    84.5 Gt T-top
    85 Gt

  15. #15
    FEP Member Hans's Avatar
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    Robert, condolences from me to you and your family.
    Driving my father's car kept me feeling close to him after his passing. I wish you the same.

    Verstuurd vanaf mijn CPH2219 met Tapatalk

  16. #16
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    qikgts's Avatar
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    I feel for you Sir. Hoping better days are on the way soon. RIP.
    '85 GT

  17. #17
    FEP Super Member gr79's Avatar
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    Smile Sort of time machines

    Have had a similar situation here. Only with my car. Have owned it over 40 years.
    Have had the Ranger almost 30. No where near as many memories with it for some reason.
    Both continue to have what i need for proven affordable classy transportation and more.

    Memories are one reason the car has a permanent home here. People, places.
    Cruises, commutes, hot dates, track times, times when car was down.
    So fortunate to still have both to enjoy, cherish. For sure provide a real health benefit in the form of happiness.

    People that rode in the stang one time or another or even drove it (rare) since 1980. Family, friends, coworkers.
    Ma's ride in it to the clinic. She was suddenly gone 2 days later.
    Can't remember dad or grampa riding in it.
    Grandma did. Asked me " Why a black car? The word blah-ck repeated again in a low tone.

    Here, most of the closest family elders are long gone. They and the memories, good or not will never leave.
    Maybe in a dream (new scenarios) or quick maybe faint passing memories when driving.

    Most did not or forgot where the inside pass door handle is (79 was low on door), the added conversation after goodby.
    Most of time have been the only passenger in the car. Too small for more than two or in a way, a passenger.
    Never had any pets in it or strangers. Bro in law has said its too old like me.

    Another car memory only a truck. Friend bought a new S-10 in 94. V6 blows the doors off my rides.
    Sunday, arrived at friend's house for Easter dinner. Encountered a neighbor leaving his house, commented on his old trusty Chevy pickup.
    Two old vehicles near each other. Mine and the Chevy. He recalled seeing the red 94 S10 spare ride parked on the drive since he was little.
    A vehicle memory for him. Sees it across the street walking to his parked truck and as a 'land mark' coming home.

    Have had mine parked here in same driveway since 1983 since moving in. Except for 13 years when not drivable.
    Neighborhood school kids, now drivers, say they remember it for a long time too.
    Have heard "Still got that Mustang?" more than once, usually when running into someone that sees me with it.
    As time has gone, both rides somehow exist more solidly overall. Prob because way less miles need to be driven annually.

    Even changing from TRX to turbines, no Cobra stickers on doors, the car is recognizable to others as it always was.
    The shape is noted not always what it is.
    Did repaint the pass door panel with the high heel mark. Another time not forgotten even if the mark is not there anymore.

  18. #18

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    Robert. So sorry about your loss. I lost my Dad 3 years ago under similar circumstances with dementia advancing as you describe , and me being 3000 miles away. Things get better as time passes. I smile thinking of when Anderson Cooper visited him and when he called me furious that we’d sent a police woman with a badge ( his personal support worker) to follow him everywhere he went. People always say that material things have real no value, but my truth is that every time I look/use them they take me back to a time and place I had with special people. Trust that your dads cars will one day give you the warmth and laughs that is your Dads.
    Steve

    1983 Mustang GT
    Popular Hot Rodding Project Car '83/84

    1983 Capri 331 ci, TKO600

  19. #19

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    Sorry about the tough road you have had to go down the last few months. Those cars are special and I hope you keep them with you bc one day as time passes you will feel better and the heartbreak they show you now will soon turn to happiness and appreciation of sharing what once was you dads...
    1981 Capri "Black Magic" I6 (sold)
    1985 Mustang GT (sold) Oxford white T-Top
    1985.5 Mustang SVO 9L
    1986 Mustang SVO 1D

  20. #20
    FEP Super Member NAVYCAT's Avatar
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    So sorry for your loss Robert, I just read your post
    2017 Ford Explorer Sport (DD) 1986 Capri 5.0 Silver/Red
    1969 Falcon XW GTHO coupe (SOLD) went to Australia
    Past 4 eyes-
    4th. 1981 Capri "White" Black Magic I6
    3rd. 1984 Capri RS V8 Black/grey
    2nd. 1984 Capri RS V8 White/red
    1st. 1984 SVO Grey/grey (traded it for a worn out 1970 BOSS 302)
    Both '84 Capri's vin# were 10 away from each other
    U.S. NAVY 1980-2009

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